NitsaPagan











{December 3, 2013}   Please Help Mimi Fight Leukemia!

IMG_20131203_150218Meet Mimi, she is my sweet little friend. She’s only 17 months old and was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago. Mimi has leukemia, Pre B ALL leukemia. We’re all still trying to wrap our brains around what exactly that is. Mimi is sweet, beautiful, loving, spunky and she just LOVES Elmo. She’s beautiful like her mama and charming like her daddy. Mimi recently had surgery to place a port for the chemo treatments and has undergone a few treatments already.  The treatments are so hard on her she hardly laughs or plays any more, it’s devastating to watch.   She needs lots of blood and platelets to keep her on track so we’re also starting a blood bank in addition to this fundraiser. She’s O+, so if you are too, and wish to donate blood as well, you’ll be helping to save a life, they are accepting blood donations at the South Texas Blood and Tissue Center.

Mimi’s mom Claudia, is a hard-working RN and her daddy Edgar is a loving, dedicated father and a general contractor. While they do have health insurance, the financial burden will be overwhelming. Remember…Mimi isn’t even 2 yet, she has a long, hard road ahead of her. The insurance is fighting her treatments at every turn.  Her diapers need to be changed immediately and frequently because the chemo burns her little skin.

Please help us, help Mimi. We’re hoping to raise as much money for her as possible. All funds will go towards Mimi’s care and any little bit helps. You can donate at http://www.gofundme.com/HelpMimiFightLeukimia as well as at Security Service Federal Credit Union. They have set up an account for her under the Mireya Marrero Jimenez Special Fund, all you have to do is go in, give that name and donate or you can just donate now using your credit card. It’s all very secure and tax-deductible. Please donate today.

Thank you for your consideration.



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Dating can be frustrating and confusing.  It seems as if the rules are constantly changing, doesn’t it?  Truth is, that the you should kick the rules to the curb and just be yourself.  There is no universal solution, no magical answer and there are no perfect words to guide you through this crazy little thing we call dating.  The most effective tool you have is…you.  It’s time to stop over thinking everything, let loose and just enjoy.  You are perfect, you may not be perfect for everyone but you are perfect, nonetheless.

I often read comments from men stating that women only date rich men, great looking men or <insert your excuse for not trying, here>, if any of that were true we wouldn’t have an over-population problem in this world, fellas.  Quit kidding yourselves.  If that’s your thought process, let me give you a heads up…you’re the problem.  It’s not your looks, it’s not your bank account, it’s your attitude and your perception.  It is an absolute turn off to hear a man say those things.  In my opinion, it’s an insult because you’re prejudging and it means your self-esteem needs work.  Let go of all those crazy notions that you have to be all things, for all people and that she’ll never just like you, for you. That’s way too much pressure and frankly nothing will send you down the rabbit hole of loneliness faster than trying to be something or someone who you’re not.

Don’t misunderstand, it’s wonderful to work towards being a better man.  I find that admirable and sexy however, there is a big difference between the ambition to improve yourself as a human being and the pretense to be something that you’re not.  What do I mean?  There’s a difference between going to the gym to get in shape and taking up bodybuilding to impress someone else – there’s a difference between taking up bodybuilding because it interests you and dying your hair to impress someone else – there’s a difference between dying your hair because you want to and buying a whole new hip-hop wardrobe to impress someone else …do you see where I’m going with this?  None of the above are bad things but if what you’re doing isn’t authentic to you, you just look ridiculous.

Now that we’ve cleared all that up, there are a few things that drive women crazy and not in a good way.  Below are 4 dating tips – never, ever, ever do these things…did I mention…ever?!  They’re just frustrating, annoying, unnecessary and totally avoidable – STOP doing these things and watch your dating life improve…

1. Would you like to do something, sometime?

As women, we want to be asked out.  Quit testing the waters and just jump right on in. If you like her and want to go out with her – try saying something like “would you like to go out on Tuesday night.  I was thinking dinner and a movie, does 8 o’clock work for you?”.  If she doesn’t want to go out with you she’ll say no and you’ll have your answer.  It won’t matter how you asked –  if she does want to go out with you or she hadn’t really thought about it, you’re putting her in a somewhat awkward position by asking her like that – be assertive, take the initiative.

Yoda once said, “Do or do not, there is no try“.  Again, be purposeful!  Do you want to go out with this girl?  Ok, quit wasting time and ask her out properly.  Man up!  Pick a day, pick a time and present it.  Here’s a big secret…women want to be wanted.  We want you to pursue us, it makes us feel good.  That guy…you know the one, the one that seems to get all the girls; that guy is determined, he doesn’t give up too soon and he doesn’t leave it to chance.  That’s the difference between you and him.  It’s not the looks, the job, the car or the money it is simple determination.  He’s not afraid of rejection and you shouldn’t be either.

2.  Let me know when you’re available?

As I stated above, be purposeful, have a plan and stop the cowardly behavior.  That’s right, I said cowardly because that’s what it is.  If you’ve already made the mistake of asking if she’d like to do something, sometime; follow-up with the day and time you’re available and a closing question “I’m available on Tuesday at 8, does that work for you?”.  Asking her to “Let you know when she’s available” makes you sound like you have nothing better to do.  Who wants to be with someone who has nothing going on?  Do you?  I didn’t think so.  While women enjoy being pursued, we also enjoy a challenge.  If you’re going to jump then jump with both jump feet.  Hope is not a strategy, stop hoping she’ll say yes, stop hoping she’ll call you, stop hoping that the next guy won’t sweep her off her feet while you’re waiting for her to check her calendar.  If you’re expecting her to call you back with her availability, you’re delusional.

3. Give me a call sometime

What?  No!  Get her number and call her!  Remember, women prefer to be pursued than to have to pursue.  I’m sure some slackers are thinking “yea what about women’s lib“…yea what about it?  Men become more attractive, interesting and noticeable when they’re in pursuit.  I’m not saying you’re attractive when you’re stalking or being pathetic, there is a HUGE difference and if you don’t recognize that…this isn’t the blog for you.  Ask for what you want!  Some women will pretend to be put out by it but trust me, they’re flattered.  If you’re feeling nervous and awkward, it’s ok!!  Most women find that adorable or may be so self-conscience and nervous themselves they probably won’t notice how nervous you are.

4. Never say you’re going to do something and not do it

That’s the ultimate kiss of death.  Nothing puts integrity and intentions in question faster.  If you’re not going to call, text, show up, write or send carrier pigeon…don’t say you will.  It’s cowardly and unnecessary and you’re so much better than that!

“Here’s something else to think about: calling when you say you’re going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can’t lay this one stupid brick down, you ain’t never gonna have a house baby, and it’s cold outside.” ~ Greg Behrendt



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Social Media, don’t even bother…

That is of course if  your goal is to disappear into the empty abyss of professional and personal anonymity.  Lacking an online presence makes you irrelevant! Harsh? Perhaps so but true nonetheless, over 90% of U.S. companies use social media as a recruiting tool and over 23% of couples found each other online. If you need more convincing, I added the Social Media Revolution 2013 video below the statistics are overwhelming. If you haven’t adapted to the power of social media, it’s time to take the blinders off and join the 21st century.

I view social media differently than most people, it’s not important for me to use it to keep up with my friends and family.  In fact, that’s of the lowest priority for me when it comes to social media usage.  My personal relationships are still very organic to me, I enjoy the old-fashioned way of communicating with the people I love – face to face visits, text messages, emails and phone calls, work great for me. Social media is a tool to reach people outside of my immediate network and it’s been a very effective one at that. Think about it, you already know how to reach your immediate circle, is it really that important for your social media to focus on that as much as it is for it to expand your network beyond those you already know?  Does it reconnect you with people who you haven’t seen or heard from in years? Absolutely! Through the power of Facebook, I have not only reconnected with old friends and family but I’ve also met people who I will cherish for life and I consider that an added bonus. Managing your social media effectively creates a platform with endless boundaries, integrate a well written, dynamic, relevant blog and your reach grows exponentially by leaps and bounds.

A few years ago my cousin was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  He’s only 21 years old and as you would imagine we were devastated by the diagnosis.  He and his dad had to make a temporary move from their home in Puerto Rico so he could receive treatment at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, his mom and 2 younger brothers stayed behind.  Can you imagine the toll that took on the family emotionally as well as financially?  It was huge!  They needed some moral and financial support.  Through the creation of a powerful social media campaign and the kindness of complete strangers, we were able to reach our goal of raising $5000 in just a couple of days.  Last year, an aggressive social media campaign assisted in creating awareness of a fund-raiser for another friend’s son that raised over $60,000.  I have an awesome position as an Account Executive with one of the best companies to work for, http://www.FedExOffice.com, and I got it through social media.  You can’t ignore the power and reach of social media.

Power of numbers

You are only one person, you can’t argue with the power and strength behind numbers.  Trying to reach others for whatever your business purpose, is difficult and time-consuming.  Face it, when it comes to just about everything we don’t appreciate the need for something or someone until we actually have a need for it.  The amount of time required to gain someone’s interest is often much greater than the amount of time you’re given to capture it.  Social media plays a critical role in getting you noticed, not only by those you’re trying to reach but also by those you never knew existed.  I was top 1% of profiles viewed on LinkedIn in 2012, my personal profile has reached it’s limit on Facebook and I have 3 additional pages – one for http://www.nitsapagan.com, one for http://www.HeavenIsPink.com and a third just because I can- I tweet, stumble and digg, I google+, pin and blog yes you can say I drink the social media cool-aid but I have a presence, I can be found and the benefits have far outweighed the perceived hassle of managing it all.  An effective social media campaign can multiply your efforts and help you reach more people with just one click than almost anything else you can do to network.

Power of Content

I used to manage social media campaigns as well teach others how to create a strong presence for themselves.  The greatest challenge and frankly, the biggest battle I fought daily was the misconception that you can treat social media as a normal advertising media. While social media is a wonderful platform that can potentially reach thousands of people a day, it is still a “social” media.  No one wants to be bombarded with your offers.  It’s a fine and often blurry line trying to develop an effective page and deliver your message without being boring, intrusive and obnoxious.  That is where and why content reigns king.  Your page and your posts MUST be interesting, insightful, humorous, engaging and resourceful…once you’ve mastered that, you can start peddling your wares.  Your audience should have a sense that they know you, you are a friend and a trusted resource before you start ambushing them with your advertisements.  Slack on content and watch your page dwindle, master it and watch it grow and prosper.

For more information visit http://ow.ly/itJWh, follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/NPMarketing and on Twitter: @NPMarketingSA, you can email questions, comments and suggestions to nitsa@nitsapagan.com.



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Yes.

For more information visit http://ow.ly/itJWh, follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/NPMarketing and on Twitter: @NPMarketingSA, you can email questions, comments and suggestions to nitsa@nitsapagan.com.



Love Meter

Don’t laugh but the idea for this post came about as I watched my dogs frolicking in the grass.  You know how dogs are they love attention, they crave it and thrive on it.  I love my dogs, they bring me great joy and many hours of pure entertainment. I’m not the lovey dovey type when it comes to my dogs, I love them, I spoil them, I enjoy them, I play with them, I pet them but I have my limits.  There are things they aren’t allowed to do, like get on the couch or sleep in bed with me.  They really want to do those things, they are very tenacious in their quest to do those things but alas, I’m not having any of it.  So, do they know that I love them even though I’m not expressing my love the way they want to be loved?

Love Meter?

I know what you’re thinking “oh great, here we go another “men are dogs” comparison…relax, that’s not where this is going.  I got to thinking about how we all seem to have a “love meter” we use to measure whether or not we’re loved. I listen to all the stories – both good and bad – about whether the love tank is being filled or not, I can’t help but wonder about how we love, how we express love and how we feel loved. You’d think that would render a simple answer but it’s really complicated if you think about it.  How many times have you been in a situation where you think you’re expressing love and you learn your partner feels unloved?  We all have different gauges and different drivers that cause us to feel loved versus unloved; while at the same time different expressions and methods of expressing our own love.  Fascinating, isn’t it? If it were simple there would be one universally acceptable way to express love and that would be that.

Do You Love Me?

Often in relationships, we feel as if we’re on a different planet, speaking a different language and getting nowhere. Is it possible that you’re being loved even if you’re not being loved the way you think you should be?  Is our expectation of love and how others deliver it to us, unreasonable?  I think the answer is yes and no.  How’s that for clarity?  I think that at times, our vision of romantic love is skewed by fairy tales, romantic novels and new relationship euphoria.  Is it possible that your idea of how you should be loved is, for example…words of praise and sex every night but her expressions are dinner on the table and watching football on the couch with you?  Do you think “yes it’s nice that she does those things, but if she loves me she should know…”?  Well, should she?  Perhaps. We often start thinking that we’re being taken for granted, “I do all these things for her, all I ask for is _____ and she can’t/won’t”.  I believe Gary Chapman calls this the “5 love languages“.  Are we trying to figure out what our partner’s language is, or are we just desperately trying to find someone who speaks our own?

When in a relationship I require attention – I’m not going to lie – I enjoy the feeling of being adored, snuggling, sweet messages and being told that I’m beautiful…never gets old.  Those things TOTALLY work for me.  A few years ago I was in a relationship with a guy that didn’t understand that about me.  He expressed his love through gifts and doing anything I needed him to do.  If I needed an oil change, he got it done, If I needed my car washed, he got it handled.  It was all very sweet but my problem was that I couldn’t get him to snuggle with me, he would never tell me that I’m beautiful or that I looked amazing (even if I didn’t), that just wasn’t in his DNA; yet there I was snuggling with him, telling him how amazing he is and feeling really unappreciated.  What was wrong with him? Why didn’t he reciprocate those actions?  Well, probably for the same reasons I never jumped up and got his car washed when it needed to be.  It just wasn’t an expression that came naturally to me and the same was true for him.  Does that mean he didn’t love me?  Knowing what I know now, the answer is no.  He absolutely loved me, he loved me to the best of his ability. We had no idea that we weren’t meeting each other’s needs because as luck would have it, neither one of us is a mind reader.

I think it’s important to step back and really try to understand how your partner needs to be loved.  They probably show you everyday by the way they express their love to you.  If she’s a cuddle bug and quick to offer words of encouragement and praise, chances are those are the things she requires to feel loved.  If she showers you with gifts and drops everything to be with you chances are a thoughtful, unexpected gift and a bit of quality time will go a long way with her.  We don’t have to change who we are and what’s important to us in order to be happy in a relationship but we do have to try to understand who the other person is, what it takes to meet their needs and try to accommodate that every once in while.

For more information visit http://ow.ly/itJWh, follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/NPMarketing and on Twitter: @NPMarketingSA, you can email questions, comments and suggestions to nitsa@nitsapagan.com.



{March 6, 2013}  

NitsaPagan:

I love this. It goes really well with my post today!!

Originally posted on Simple Tom:

 

 

 

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View original



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You read that correctly…PASSION, but before you begin tapping into your inner Fabio – let me explain.

For me, it’s writing. When I’m writing, I’m following my passion, I feel fully engaged, I’m giving it all I’ve got. Everything around me ceases to matter, gets ignored or somehow magically tunes itself out. I’m digging around my brain as if it were a candy jar and I’m looking for a cherry jolly rancher. I’m alive, I’m thinking and I am engaged. I have passion and it consumes me.

Passion drives you to be and do great things even if only within your own little world. At the end of the day, the greatest difference you can make begins within yourself. The things that drive you and are important to you, are the things that lead to the greatest accomplishments in your life. Passionate people are magnets. They fascinate us – whether we agree with them or not – we respect them because they represent something.

What is your passion?

Passion is a tricky word, perhaps even a bit scary. It shouldn’t be, passion is just a sexy word for a hobby. We think of passionate people and wonder if we have it within ourselves to follow those examples. The greatest people in history were passionate – Martin Luther King, Steve Irwin, Oprah, Muhammad Ali – all very different with very different purposes but when we think of them, we can quickly identify what they did, who they were and how they made a difference. Fret not, you don’t have to be famous to find what drives you in fact, the things that drive you are what can make you famous. Those people seem extraordinary, larger than life, it appears as if “they” have something that we don’t. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Your passion doesn’t have to be big, it doesn’t have to be complicated or creative, it just has to engage you, excite you and drive you. When someone is passionate about something, they have purpose, it shows and they seem to be just a hint more interesting than the next guy.

How Do You Find Your Passion?

Think about things you enjoy and ask yourself if you feel good while doing them? Ask yourself if thinking about it, excites you? Does talking about it make you animated, excited and enthusiastic? If you had all the time in the world, would you be doing it and would you do it for free, if you could? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions…are you doing it? Are you spending any time cultivating that passion? Are life and making money keeping you from tapping into that passion? If so, what would it take to motivate you to pursue your passions?

Why Aren’t You Pursuing Your Passion?

Fear! That’s usually why most people don’t follow their passions. Fear has the power to paralyze us all. I’ve been writing since I was a kid however, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I dared let anyone else read any of my stuff. I’ll never forget the first time I let someone read a story that I wrote. I was terrified, I was embarrassed, I felt so self-conscious but the experience gave me the courage to disclose more of my work and the feedback gave me the motivation to keep writing, find a niche that I really enjoy and write, write, write. That one small step has taken me on a journey that I never imagined, planned or expected. I just wanted to write, but that simple desire led to a radio talk show appearance, a monetized blog and most importantly it has turned me into a resource for men seeking to better understand women. If any of that leads one person to their ah-ha moment, then I am the most successful person I know.

It is difficult to lead a passionate life if you have no passions. Does that make sense? Our hopes and dreams have a tendency to take the form of a “bucket list”. Things we’ll do and/or pursue tomorrow, we leave it all for another day. We rob ourselves and others of the right to pursue our passions. We blame the need for practicality in life and allow it to rob us of the things that actually complete us, make us more productive, bring us joy and inspire change, growth and prosperity. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not telling you to drop everything and go follow your passions. I’m not necessarily sure that’s good advice. I am saying that you should find your passion explore it, cultivate it and have something in life that is yours, something that is just for you and be inspired by it. If it happens to lead you down a path where you can drop everything, then so be it but in the meantime, if you love fishing…for crying out loud…go fishing!

Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you. ~ Oprah Winfrey

For more information visit http://ow.ly/itJWh, follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/NPMarketing and on Twitter: @NPMarketingSA, you can email questions, comments and suggestions to nitsa@nitsapagan.com.



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This one is for the serious daters, those of you that are dating with a purpose, those with an end goal in mind. If you’re on the prowl and looking for the woman of your dreams, then this blog is just for you! Different folks make different choices about how they‘re going to tackle the task of finding love – perhaps you’re giving online dating a try, maybe you’re working with a matchmaker or maybe you’re just winging it.  It doesn’t matter! I’ve got 4 questions women want answers to – give them a little thought and you just might get lucky in love!

1. What are your short-term goals?

Why is this an important question to women? It’s important because it establishes that you do have goals and that you’re working towards them. That you’re not just sailing thru life taking it as it comes. While in theory that’s a very lovely concept…no woman seeking a serious, long-term relationship will be comfortable with “I’m just taking it day by day”.  Give this question a little thought and consideration. Think about the kind of answers you’d like to hear from her. Be prepared – going with the flow – is not a plan.

2. What are your long-term goals?

I’ll give you an example…If your dream is to become an attorney and you’re currently working full-time as a bank teller and you haven’t made any moves towards accomplishing your goal of becoming an attorney, then your dream will remain just a dream. Goals without a plan are simply dreams.  As I pointed out above you should at the very least, have a well thought out plan and a time frame for achieving your goal and fulfilling your dreams. You should think about whether or not you see yourself married with kids, a white picket fence, a puppy and two cats.  Know yourself well enough to know what you absolutely want and what you would like.  Make a list of qualities you’re attracted to, what characteristics are you searching for and let me just say that “must have big boobs” is not the type characteristic I’m referring to.  Don’t be shallow, dig deep and really think about what is important to you.  Remember, beauty fades don’t make physical attraction your main focus.  Of course I agree that it’s important, but as my ex-husband use to say “show me the most beautiful girl in the world and I’ll show you the guy that’s sick of her…”.

3. How do you feel about me?

I’m fascinated by all things that relate to dating and relationships. I research and read pretty much everything that I come across on the subject.  Today I read an article encouraging women never to ask this question – even though the article admits – we do it almost instinctually.  The article encourages women to be “authentic” when dealing with men and dating.  Asking this type of question hides the “authentic” you and it is only the authentic you that men fall madly and deeply in love with. Be “authentic” even if it means you’re not asking questions that are important to you.  A girl should coast through the dating process feeling the texture of salt shakers and table clothes all the while smiling pretty.  Then and only then will a man truly fall madly in love with a woman.  It discourages women from asking any “feel” questions but encourages her to speak only in expressions of “feelings”.  Confused?  Yea, me too!  Here’s the thing,  when a woman asks you a question like that she isn’t trying to pin you down to a committed relationship or rush you to the altar.  She may be however, gauging whether or not this is a good time to cut her losses.  So…to borrow a tidbit from the article, I do encourage that you be the “authentic” you.  If things are working say so, if they’re not…end it or fix it.

I think it’s important that you fully comprehend that women are feelers. Yes, we’re emotionally driven. That’s not to say that emotion impedes a woman’s rationality. It simply means that we factor in our feelings and the feelings of others when making decisions.  I get it you’re a man, you are rationally driven and all this “feel” stuff isn’t the most comfortable place for you.  That’s perfectly understandable but if you’re going to continue to ponder the disconnect between the sexes, herein lies a HUGE chunk of it.  Think back to some of your biggest arguments – they were either about money or feelings.  I’m not telling you to become Mr. Sappy, nobody likes that.  I am telling you that if you’re asked “how do you feel about me?” she’s not trying to trick you or start an argument, she wants to know that you “like her”, “love her”, “think she’s the prettiest”, “funniest” or that “you’re always looking forward to spending time with her”.  Why do you think it is that you can pretty much stop any silly argument by pulling her close, looking in her eyes and smiling?  Because that’s a positive expression of how you feel.  Get it?

4. How do you feel about relationships?

Are you cringing in your seat, yet? Nitsa, what’s with all the “feel” questions? Well, I’ve decided to arm you with what you need to be successful at dating. What you do with this information is completely up to you. However, if  you’re investing your time, energy and hard-earned money trying to meet new people and date…you should probably invest some time in knowing what the sudden “deal breakers” might be – not knowing is the equivalent to showing up for a job interview and not having researched the company or the position – the likelihood that that’s going to end well for you is slim to none…dating is no different.

It’s important to know how you feel about relationships. Do you want one? Why? Do they scare you? Why? What would have to happen for you to want to be committed to just one person? What does a “perfect for you” relationship look like?  I’m not saying that you need to share all that information but I am saying that you should for your own sake, know the answers.  It’s what makes you, you.

I recommend that you spend 15-20 minutes really focusing on the answers to these questions. Seek the answers that are “authentic” to you, not true to what you think someone else wants to hear. You are who you are and you want what you want, be honest with yourself or you’ll never be able to be honest with anyone else. If someone doesn’t like your answers then they’re not for you and that’s ok, it just puts you one “no” closer to your dream girl!

I know this sounds like a lot of thinking just to go on a date.  We attract the things we think about, like-minded people attract one another. If you really give these questions some thought, it begins to create a clearer path for you to focus and begin taking action. You start thinking differently, creating new opportunities and expanding your circle of influence. It’s amazing what happens once we actually sit down, take pencil to paper and make decisions. Certainly there will be changes and adjustments – that should be expected and welcomed but be honest and true to yourself and watch the magic unfold!

“A man is but a product of his thoughts.  What he thinks, he becomes.” ~Ghandi

For questions comments or suggestions feel free to comment here or email me at nitsa@nitsapagan.com or follow me on Twitter: @NPMarketingSA and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/NPMarketing.  You can also find my blog at
http://ow.ly/ibhv6.



pu artist

As I sit here amused, entertained and trying to title this blog appropriately, a Texas-sized grin sits on my face, like that of a child that just got her way. You see, I had fun last night. I had the kind of fun that the best memories in life are made of. The evening contained all the elements for the making of an epic night out…friends, family, Jenga, mischief and tiaras. How could it possibly end in anything but laughs, eye rolls, a few twirls around the dance floor and carefully crafted, pre-planned, incredibly creative and even more amusing, spoon fed lines by a few strays we picked up along the way?

This is the sort of thing I live for. I have these experiences and they make me want to run home and write about them. I’m starting to think that my life is all about fodder for this blog. I love to watch you boys in action and I love it even more when it’s directed at me. No, not for the attention but for the experience. The attention is nice-don’t misunderstand-but make no mistake, I know when a player is playing and it fascinates me. Nothing brings me more joy than to be the chosen target during a night out. You see, I’m past the need to be the center of attention or be the prettiest girl in the room or have all the boys tripping over themselves to talk to me. Alas, them days have passed. A night out for me is about spending quality, silly time with my friends. It’s about creating memories that we talk about for years and years. Yes, I’ve reached that point in time, when I love hearing stories that begin with “remember that time when we…”.

For Me, It’s All About You…

I’m having a difficult time naming this particular blog because my brain is going in too many directions. Unlike most writers, I don’t create an outline to organize my thoughts. My thoughts and ramblings just become words on a screen as my fingers pound on the keyboard. However, in all fairness to you, I must focus! When I began this blog I promised to try to give you insight into the inner workings of the female mind, so with that in mind…let’s talk about great pick up artists and the women who fall for them.

Why This Works…

Last night was my friend’s birthday and to celebrate, a group of girls went to a local establishment to have a drink, play games and enjoy each others company.  As we played life-sized Jenga on the patio, we quickly drew the attention of a couple of pretty cute guys.  They soon joined our game and the fun continued…or maybe I should say the fun began.  Most of the girls are married or in a committed relationship, so that left just two of us as open prey.  As a result, I became the target of arguably the best pick up duo that I’ve encountered in a very, very long time.  I’m not going to lie, I absolutely knew I was being handed lines and stories that they’d probably been telling all night, but I didn’t care.  I thought it was precious and so incredibly well done, that I just wanted to put them in my pocket and maybe even join their dream team.  I’m not sure if it was the fact that I knew I was being fed a load of crap or the fact that the load of crap was being so effortlessly and beautifully delivered, but I have to tell you, it was working.  I was totally attracted to him.  Lie to me some more, please!!  Crazy, isn’t it?

I’m not writing this blog to encourage you to go out and try to become a dynamic pick up duo.  I’m just writing this for entertainment value and because these guys deserve honorable mention.  These two obviously had their stories straight.  The wing man knew how to get his buddy out of any situation and they were completely in sync.  My favorite and probably the most insightful part of the entire experience is that they had foresight.  They definitely planned ahead.  In the event that any of their plan worked…they knew they needed an escape route and they implemented it early on.  One of the very first things I was told was that he was moving to CA…the very next day.  Brilliant!  Does anyone else see the brilliance behind that?  If his plan works and he takes me home, he never has to see or deal with me again because he’s “moving to CA”.  That’s the kind of creativity that I appreciate.  Now, I know some of you will read this and try to admonish me for applauding this behavior but frankly, I’m all about self-discipline.  You’re only suckered if you want to be.  Clearly these guys wanted to go home with someone, if you’re going to be that girl, then maybe the lesson within the context of this blog, while somewhat hurtful, may be just what you need to hear, if you’re not that girl then loosen up, it’s pretty funny and really not that serious.

Seek First To Understand…

If I had to isolate a point to this story, it wouldn’t be that you should go out and create an entire façade to deceive others.  It is however, that you definitely should become a student of the game.  Whether you’re a man or a woman, learn what makes people tick.  It’s different things for different people and if you can figure out how to effectively and quickly learn to assess others, you’ll be more successful at creating and developing relationships.  People want to be understood and if you can become proficient at that, the benefits are endless.  You will never fall “victim” to the kind of behavior described above, you’ll know how to spot it and deal with it, perhaps  even appreciate it and be amused by it; as well as become a magnet to others around you, because you’ll definitely have acquired a skill that very few  people ever attempt- and that is to have a basic understanding of others.

“Did anyone ever tell you you’re too good to be true?  No only that I’m too truthful to be good.” ~ The Pick-up Artist

For more information, questions, comments or suggestions please email me at nitsa@nitsapagan.com.  Follow me on www.Twitter.com at NPMarketingSA and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/NPMarketing



money

If you’re anything like me, you see those tag lines and think to yourself “that’s got to be a scam”.  However, if you think about it logically they can’t all be scams.  Obviously, someone is making money.  The truth is, in 2011 direct sales generated near $30 billion in the US. “There is good news coming from the direct selling segment.  Despite the economic climate, direct selling continues to be a source of income and support for independent consultants across the U.S.” says Joseph Mariano, President of the Direct Selling Association, http://www.dsa.org.

Separating Fact from Fiction

What exactly is direct selling?  Direct selling takes away the retail location and markets  products and services through individual distributors.  Mary Kay and Avon are great examples of companies that bypass the middle man and distribute their products using independent consultants.  They are reputable, well known, established companies with great reputations that provide a way for self-motivated individuals to work for themselves, from home.  There is nothing “scam-like” about it.

I believe the negative connotations come from the get rich quick pitches we hear promising unrealistic returns for unrealistic efforts.  Truth is my friends, that network marketing isn’t going away and it’s actually a wonderful way to supplement your income.  However, just like anything else, you have to keep your expectations real, you have to take a little time to research the company you’re getting involved with and you have to prepare to invest some time, energy and effort into it.

You Paid Your Fee, Now What?

Often times people become disillusioned with the company they joined because it seems like they paid their fee and now they’re not getting any support.  You were so excited and now the flame has dwindled.  It’s like a bad romance.  You feel used, manipulated and discarded.

The truth is that a network marketing company, just like any other company, gives you the tools you need to get started and it is ultimately your responsibility to seek out any help you may need.  It is unreasonable to believe that your “upline” is going to do all the work for you.  Does your manager at your current job do all the work for you?  Probably not.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease, start squeaking, my friend.  If you don’t know what you’re doing, participate in calls, find a mentor and listen to audio tapes.  Success will be measured by your effort.

Get Rich Quick!

There is no doubt you can get rich quick in this world.  All you have to do is pick the right lotto numbers!  Cleanse your mind of the belief that extraordinary is going to occur with ordinary effort.  It’s never worked before, it’s not going to work now.  You can’t take a pill and lose weight, you can’t sit on your couch and get healthy, you can’t sit at home, do nothing and expect great wealth just because you paid $199 for your kit.  You have to get serious and develop realistic expectations and goals for yourself.  Dave Ramsey says “if you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else”. So I ask you, what are you willing to do now to change your reality?

The Facts!

Growth in the direct selling market is pretty impressive, especially if you factor in the weak economic climate and the staggering unemployment statistics.  Take a look at a few of the facts, according to US Census statistics and the Direct Selling Association.

-Someone starts a new home business every 10 seconds (U.S.).

-15.8 Million people working from home full-time (U.S.).

-Another 38 million or 12% of the total population working from home part-time (U.S.).

-8,493 new home businesses open every day (U.S.).

-Increasing by over 600,000 people per year (U.S.).

-82% of distributors are female and 18% are male (U.S.).

-By 2015, it is estimated that 50% of homes will be involved in the MLM Industry (U.S.).

-$29.87 billion in Direct Sales (Network Marketing) in 2011 (U.S.).

-23% of all Network Marketing sales are related to the Wellness Industry (U.S.).

-Average work from home income $59,250 per year (U.S.).

-20% of home based entrepreneurs said that their business grossed between $100,000 and $500,000 last year (U.S.).

In essence the question really shouldn’t be “does network marketing work?”, the question should be “do I have what it takes to make it work?”.  Those are two very  different questions and the answers are what separate the winners from the losers.

Listen to How The Pros Do It

You now have a few facts.  I’ve helped clarify the reality versus the expectation and you still need to figure out how to make extra money without committing to a second job.  Click on http://bit.ly/Ze7NIJ and get inspired.  Do your homework, make a decision!  Your future is in your hands!

-Home based business wage earner’s success rate is over 85% compared with small businesses like retail shops and restaurants, at about 95% failure rate after 5 years.

-84% recommend working from home to others (U.S.).

-29% work at home with other family members (U.S.).

For more information email me at nitsa@nitsapagan.com or click on http://bit.ly/Ze7NIJ



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